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As addition who has committed my life’s assignment to allowance others accomplish claimed transformation, my accustomed beard adventure was a admonition that transitions and transformations are not necessarily pre-planned or advised for that matter.

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As I reflect on my decision, I can candidly say my accustomed beard adventure accidentally happened afterwards my 40th birthday. I was a afar mother of four entering a new decade of life. I had aloof appear a self-help book on claimed transformation, had a new adulation in my life, and an centralized admiration to reinvent myself.

In the year afterward my big 4-0, I switched up my accustomed safe bob with aggregate from a sew-in ponytail, sew-in weave, to braids.

Six months afterwards my 40th birthday, my again admirer proposed to me. At that time, I aloof happened to be cutting a abounding sew-in  weave for the aboriginal time ever. I allege on authenticity, on actuality unapologetically you. And admitting cutting annihilation added than your accustomed beard does not by any agency exclude you from these virtues, I can bethink attractive aback at the account that captured that moment and thinking, the hairstyle was cute, yet I would accept adopted to accept sported my own beard on such a memorable day.

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Shortly thereafter, I ditched the sew-in and the safe bob hairstyle that was underneath. With aloof 6 months afore my bells I cut all my beard off and autonomous for a beautiful brownie style. Let’s aloof say my accomplishment to reinvent myself was accepting an character crisis aback it came to my hair.

When I absolved bottomward the alley at my destination bells in Cancun the afterward year, I accustomed my abbreviate hair, about I acquainted trapped by the common beard salon visits. Actuality a active mom, business owner, and new wife, I added became added and added balked over the time I was spending in the salon.  I was so over it.  About this time, I was diagnosed with ambiguous hypertension and my accomplishment to exercise to get it beneath ascendancy was centered about my beard regimen. If I had clients, a speaking engagement, or television actualization appliance was out of the question. Like so abounding added atramentous women, I was sacrificing my concrete bloom for my hair.

Then my apple shifted.

Five months afterwards my bells day, my mother, the aforementioned woman who danced and acclaimed with us at our bells in Cancun accidentally died. I was devastated.  My ancestor had died years beforehand from complications of a achievement and now I was burying my mother whose hypertension ultimately led to her passing.

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In the months that followed, affliction took its assessment on me. My spirit and aplomb was shot. I absitively to get braids because honestly, I didn’t accept the brainy or concrete activity to put against my hair.

I wore braids for a year afterward my mother’s passing.

Just afterwards the aboriginal ceremony of her afterlife I took the braids out. A jar of relaxer sat on the adverse aloof inches abroad from me. This was, metaphorically, my crossroad. Do I acknowledgment to the safe, accepted, beeline and narrow, or do I commence aloft the alley beneath traveled.  The antecedent year had taken its assessment on me.  Now, complect chargeless and activity beneath aged by grief, I bethink attractive in the mirror and acumen how amoebic and raw I was in added means than one.  I was attractive at MY beard for the aboriginal time aback I started accepting relaxers at age 7.

I was as alien with the beard on my arch as I was with the motherless woman absorption aback at me in the mirror. Little did I apprehend that I was about to become actual accustomed with both and my beard adventure would become a allegory to the claimed adventure affliction propelled me on.  I fabricated a accommodation to go accustomed and authorize an affectionate accord with my acme and glory.

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Dr. Rose Moten, is a analytic psychologist, and the columnist of two books. www.drrosemoten.com

Learn added about The Six Brown Chicks here. Follow us on Twitter @SixBrownChicksHave your blog delivered to you! Type your email abode in the box and bang the “create subscription” button. Our account is absolutely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Filed under: African Americans, Authenticity, Beauty, Atramentous Hair, Atramentous Women

Tags: atramentous women, Dr. Rose Moten, hairstyle, har, natural, transfomation, Tuesday Transformation

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